spiritual high?

I am starting to doubt myself again. Was it an act of impulse? Or was it genuinely from God? Did I really hear what God had to say to me or was it simply a cry from my heart? After having to hear what you said, I really thought to myself, did I take up this role because I really wanted to serve Him? And that I saw a need to be laborer in the harvest field? Or... it was because I am on a spiritual high. I thought the many nights of praying and listening to your word and what you had to say was enough. And that I clearly heard your voice telling me, "Go out there into the harvest field, and reap what I've sown". I thought I saw the need to go out there and make disciples. The world out there is dying and I want to do something about it and not just sit here and wait for that day to come. I doubt it would be a lovely sight. I understand that you are concern about my well being and I truly understand where you are coming from, and I thank God for a sister like you. The thing is... What am I to do now? Pray? What if what I hear again is not from God but myself again, being on spiritual high? This is bad. I thought I had the answer. Now I seem to have lost it all. Lord, can you hear my heart crying out to you? I told to myself, I had to major in majors and minor in minors, which meant I had to let go of things which I enjoy doing even though, given a choice, I’d like to continue. But those are things people out there are able to handle. Just that no one is taking the initiative to do it. Not that I’ll give it up completely, but I’ll give the church ample notice for them to source for new people and I’ll only stop when my term is up. You are right in that I have a lot of things on my plate. But if it really is God's calling, should I not follow what he has planned for me? I'm confused now. I'm lost. I have no answers to any of the questions I posted. It's not your fault, it's not anybody's fault. It's mine. I have only myself to blame. For not praying hard enough and searching deep enough.