update on grandma ...

Hi people, here’s an update on my grandmother. It's been about a week since she's been down with this facial muscle disorder known as "Bell's Palsy". She is still having difficulties accepting it but I thank God that He has been working in her life through this.

My family got together on a Sunday and asked for her permission to allow us to pray for her. Being a staunch Buddhist, or so she claims, she has never liked the idea of us praying for her or anything to that extent. But to our pleasant surprise, she didn’t utter a single word of disagreement but instead allowed us to pray for her. God was definitely at work. The day after, I went down to visit her. Managed to chat with her quite a bit and understand the situation she is in and told her that a few people in church might be coming down to visit her. Then she mentioned something which I never thought I’d hear from her. She said, "You all Christians very caring hor... Maybe one day I’ll become one too." Imagine the joy I was feeling at that point of time. I never expected her to say those words. Then just a few days later, when we went over to my gramp's house for dinner and just before we were about to leave, managed to talk to her again. Told her that we'll be keeping her in prayer, also mentioned that my church's youth group prayed for her too. Soon after I told her all those, she said something like, "When I recover, I’ll consider going to church and thank God." Btw, she can speak fluent English. Ya.

Through all these, I could really see that God is really playing a major role in this area. My prayers night after night has been for the salvation of my grandparents. For almost 6 years, I’ve been praying for them and the Lord finally opened up this opportunity for us to share about God's love, grace and mercy to her. I came to see that though at times things may not happen the way you want it to. God has something planned behind all those trials. And behind every trial comes an important lesson He wants us to learn from. We might not be able to go through it alone, and that's where our brothers and sisters in Christ come in, to walk along side you, with God watching over us. Did my quiet time today and it happen to be in relations to helping one another.

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

I think we ought to do so because in our walk with God, there's definitely going to be ups and downs, and showing our care and concern to our fellow bros and sis might seem like a small thing but the one whose burden is being shared would feel the acceptance and love of others. And would continue walking through this difficult time in light that God is still there. I really like to thank God for placing all these bros and sis is Christ in my life and for them to constantly encourage and remind me that God has never left me. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.




cheer up lance (:
-ciA*

spiritual high?

I am starting to doubt myself again. Was it an act of impulse? Or was it genuinely from God? Did I really hear what God had to say to me or was it simply a cry from my heart? After having to hear what you said, I really thought to myself, did I take up this role because I really wanted to serve Him? And that I saw a need to be laborer in the harvest field? Or... it was because I am on a spiritual high. I thought the many nights of praying and listening to your word and what you had to say was enough. And that I clearly heard your voice telling me, "Go out there into the harvest field, and reap what I've sown". I thought I saw the need to go out there and make disciples. The world out there is dying and I want to do something about it and not just sit here and wait for that day to come. I doubt it would be a lovely sight. I understand that you are concern about my well being and I truly understand where you are coming from, and I thank God for a sister like you. The thing is... What am I to do now? Pray? What if what I hear again is not from God but myself again, being on spiritual high? This is bad. I thought I had the answer. Now I seem to have lost it all. Lord, can you hear my heart crying out to you? I told to myself, I had to major in majors and minor in minors, which meant I had to let go of things which I enjoy doing even though, given a choice, I’d like to continue. But those are things people out there are able to handle. Just that no one is taking the initiative to do it. Not that I’ll give it up completely, but I’ll give the church ample notice for them to source for new people and I’ll only stop when my term is up. You are right in that I have a lot of things on my plate. But if it really is God's calling, should I not follow what he has planned for me? I'm confused now. I'm lost. I have no answers to any of the questions I posted. It's not your fault, it's not anybody's fault. It's mine. I have only myself to blame. For not praying hard enough and searching deep enough.

Prayer Request

Hi guys, will try to keep this post short. It's a prayer request this time. My grandma has been diagnosed with this disease called "Bell's Palsy". Its a condition that causes the facial muscles to weaken or become paralyzed. She happened to wake up on sat morning to find her right side of her face sagging. She refused to go to the doctor till later at night when my grandpa secretly called up my parents, who later notified the rest of my family of my grandma's condition. And it was then when they sent her to the hospital. My grandma was told by this young doctor that it could be a mild stroke which made her heart drop la.. But it was later confirmed but an experienced doctor that it wasn't. Sense of relieve. While my parents and relatives were at the hospital, me and my sister were at home praying for her, that everything will be fine.

My prayer would be for her to completely recover from this illness. She is really very down that half her face looks disfigured. She is a non-christian. We went over to my gramps' house today to visit her. My family sat down with my grandma and we offered to pray for her. For the first time, she actually agreed. Praise the Lord. We then took turns to pray for her. So ya, continue to pray for her salvation. Will keep you all updated. Thanks

When is my time to go?

Emo kid.. That's what I’ve been called since.. a very long time ago? Maybe I am being emotional.. Maybe I’m just too sensitive.. to the extend where I feel.. out of place.. out of this world.. Stranger in the world? Ya.. Same thing applies to the church. Man.. Even reading whatever I just typed makes me feel that I’m being emo too.. Sighs..

Whatever happened to building people up? Maybe its cause I’ve been the laughingstock all my life, so much so that the people around hardly even take to heart that I’ve got feelings too? The feeling of trying too hard to fit in came back again.. Time and time again I’ll remind myself that they did not mean harm, and I’ll continue living this miserable and forlorn life of mine as though nothing happened, as though it was just a passing phase of my life..

I guess I’m being emo again.. I've concluded that it’s just me. Always took things too seriously.. when others claim that they were joking only. Life sucks.. I have serious issues with everyone. Maybe I’m meant to be a loner.. born freak.. a weirdo who laughs like an idiot.. Come to think of it.. I really need to retreat.. Somewhere far away.. You know.. Leave this place.. Escapism.. Than to remain here where your ego gets crushed.. No pride.. Never given credit in anything you do.. Get yelled at when things don’t go their way.. Go through loads of shit just to get something done.. Maybe I need to get a life.. How ironic..

No friends, being laughed at, pushed around, having to do shit, insulted and ridiculed by people, being the butt of the joke.. Sick and tired of this world.. Sick of living..