Just came back from piano lesson. Sometimes long train rides can be quite a good thing. Good for u to ponder over your life. How fruitful it has been.. Or how sucky it has been, like in my case. Was just thinking about the things I could and couldn’t do.

Let’s look at the number of “I Can’t”s in my life

I can’t pray a prayer without fumbling over my words
I can’t sing as well as my other guy peers
I can’t play the piano well enough to take a teaching diploma
I can’t do anything without being stressed at the end of it
I can’t even lend a listening ear to my friends in need
I can’t keep a promise without breaking it
I can’t keep this family together
I can’t decide what I wanna do with my life
I can’t score a grade favourable enough for me to enter uni
I can’t get the work I’m tasked to do done on time
I can’t gather up enough courage to tell someone something
I can’t not cause someone to stumble somehow
I can’t help but be depressed whenever things don’t work out
I can’t drive a damn car without mounting the damn curb
I can’t do something and stay committed to doing it
I can’t lead a group of youths without thinking that I’m incapable of doing so
I can’t be there for a friend when her life is screwed (what a coincidence)
I can’t help being too sensitive, emo, whatever u call it
I can’t complete a sentence without any grammatical errors
I can’t be an encouragement to anyone when they need it most
I can’t make a decision I won’t regret later
I can’t discipline myself to do QT every night
I can’t be that faithful friend because of all my flaws
I can’t help but feel useless
I can’t help thinking that all hope is lost
I can’t control the hurt I’m feeling when I look at this long list of “I Can’t”s in my life

If I were to continue, it’ll go on forever. Try to be positive u say. Ok. I’ll try.. Well then, now let’s look at the things I can do.

…

Nothing.

I’m not surprised.. Trust me, it was way easier typing out the “I Can’t”s than the “I Can”s.

I guess, I am trying pretty hard to blend in with the rest of my peers with all the flaws in my life. Cant help but to feel that I really am of no use to society. Seriously, tell me something I am good at and I’ll applaud u.

I can’t help being negative. I guess it’s who I am, I’m person who thinks a lot when I am alone. I guess if u put me in a room alone, I’ll most prob drive myself insane. Maybe it's not a bad think if i just silenced myself from the world.