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Moving on with life..

Never felt so defeated in life before..

Hi again, just got back from my Da Jie's wedding. Happy for her man. =) Congrats again! (though i dont think u'll be reading my blog since u're busy) The food was great. Undeniably. Lol. 8 yrs of dating before marriage. Hmm.. The period just nice right? Actually don't really know. Then there are those who get marriage like after 1 year? Well.. Depends la right? Haha. I wonder how long will mine take before i get married.

Today was busy busy. Managed to pack my luggage. Cut my hair also. If i keep it any longer, I'll look like a lion la. So i decided to cut it. If not some of u will start bitching about it. Ok. Fine. Bitching is not a nice word. Lol. Talking.

Oh oh! Got story to tell. It's regarding this lady at the dinner table today. She's damn stupid. I think it's not nice to type it out here. So if u wanna know what happened, then u can ask me ya.

Well, i still cant believe I'm leaving tmr. =( I cant spend Christmas in Singapore. And it stinks.. Haiz.. Oh!! I just received a letter! =) Mum brought it in for me. Haha. I'll open it on Christmas. Though it's quite tempting to open it now. I'll bring it over to Korea so i can open it when it strikes 12 on Christmas day. Haha. To everyone out there, here's wishing u an advance MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I'll miss u guys loads! =)

this Christmas would be lonelier...

Hello..

Am at Sam's house now. Waiting for Sam to wake up then can decide what in the world to do. -.- My phone died. =( And it sucks. Cuz i cant charge it here. Sam's house no nokia charger. Sorry if i cant reply u ya. Watched soccer last night with them (linus, daryl, leonad, sam). Not much of a soccer fan la. But Dora and Daryl were super sad last night. Lol. Awww.. It's not the end of the world k. IT'S JUST A GAME. Lol. So wad i said when we were at Cine was true la. Liverpool.. (Continue to rest yourself k?) Haha..

Flying off on Wed. Havent packed yet. Go home confirm kana scolded by parents for sure. Aiya. Then Tues night still got wedding to attend.

Went shopping the other day, bought quite a lot of stuff for the trip. And also for myself too. Lol.

Projects.. I hate projs.

This entry very random.. Wadever came to my mind, i just typed it down. Still tired.. Cant be bothered to type nice nice.. Slept quite late last night also. Going nuts already. I am sleep deprived. Really..

Promise rings can mean:



"I will be faithful to you"
"I will return to you"
"I will keep a specific promise to you"
"I will keep your secret"
"I love you"
"My intention is to marry you, but I'm not yet ready to become engaged"
"I will save my virginity for you"
"We are best friends"
"I will always be there for you"
"You are my one and only Valentine"
"I promise to abstain from a vice (gambling, drinking, smoking)"
"I promise to replace this ring with a (larger) diamond one as soon as I can afford it"



Interesting right?

With regards to your post on how superficial things turned out to be. I guess the only reason why i choose not to tell you is for the very reason that i dont want u, as my good friend, to be hurt. In fact, you were amongst the first few ppl whom i wanted to confide in especially during this "difficult" period. But everytime i find an opening to try to tell u, i look at how bothered u are with ministry, with school, with friends. I dont want this to be a burden to you.

Even during our meet on Fri and Sat, the awkward silence was quickly filled with how tied down u were at school and stuff. I also anticipated that it would be super awkward for me to tell u and then we'll stare at each other. I was afraid. I didnt know wad to expect if i told u. From the very first time u heard those rumours all the way till now, after hearing them, u get so frustrated. I am not stupid. I've always been sensitive to my surroundings. I knew right from the start that u werent "happy" about this entire thing. If u havent noticed that about me after all these years of friendship, then i havent got anything else to say. I never wanted to hide anything from you or from anyone. Now it seems like everyone knows about it. I can tell you right now that if u came up to me and asked me, i wouldnt have denied it. I would have told u the truth. But u didnt. Would that be considered lying then?

It's not that i dont trust you. It wasnt meant to be a secret from the start. I guess even if i told u who already knows about it, you would be shocked. Cuz the few of them kept it to themselves. Some, of course, came up to me and asked instead of gossiping.

Back then in the bus with Jocelyn, her qns to me was "am i attached". The truth is, I am not. But if u choose to infer that i am hiding something then i have nothing to say. What turned out to be a few ppl knowing led to the whole world spreading false statements.

Back to you. I have always been there for u when u needed someone to talk to. I heard your stories of your friends and their relationship problems and how u were involved in it. How u got hurt at the end of it. How can i neglect what happened in the past by telling u this? Like i said and will say it again, i never intended to hide this entire thing. If ppl were to come up to me and ask me, i'd gladly tell them. I never said i wouldnt tell you. You never asked but chose to blame it on me.

Ok.. I'm feeling super bad now. Today isnt my day. What i thought was the best day turned out.. wrong.. I'm pissed.. Hate that i'm such an idiot la. Freak..

Got nothing else to say other then to blame it on my stupidity and forgetfulness. Damn. Lance, u should be killed.. I hope i didnt like totally ruin your day. Feeling super shitty about it la. DAMMIT!

Stupid.. I so hate myself. How could i ever have forgotten! When i specifically mentioned it. Gosh.. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Someone shoot me la. PISSED at myself la!

Today is so not my day. Ok. Fine. So i had a bad day. Stupid legs of mine. I HATE THEM! Useless. If it werent for them, i wouldnt have fell. I'm so pissed. Here's what happened. Today was my NAPFA. First station, Sit-ups. Still can make it. Managed a 50. Then came freaking shuttle run. Started running, grabbed the first wooden block, turned around, wanted to race back, lost balance, thinkin i could regain back balance, i sped up. Then BOOM!! Fell! My whole knee is like covered with blood. Here's a pic of how it looks like.

it does look the shape of a heart

This is like the 2ND time this year i fell la! I'm so frustrated! And it's the left side somemore!!! Then it was pull ups. Still not too bad. Managed a 5. Then comes standing broad jump! How to jump when my knee feels like it's gonna snap into 2 if i exert too much force!? 190 plus. FAIL!! Was too demoralised to continue after that station. See no point. I am disappointed.. Really..

I didnt do well.. Thanks for the encouragement though. =) And dont worry, things will work out fine ya.